The Best/Worst Time of the Year

This time of year, I always have such mixed emotions. My love of school/office supplies, organization, school, and new beginnings always of course makes my heart all a flutter with possibilities with what is to come with the upcoming school year. Then, my heart is aching a teeny bit too. No more flying by the seat of our pants to take trips to the zoo, no more sweaty heads learning to ride two wheels, no more popsicles on the front porch for lunch, or running through the sprinklers.

This year brings an extra whole set of mixed emotions though. This year, my youngest is heading off to school a few mornings a week. I know it isn’t much, but for the first time since becoming a mother six years ago, I will be alone for a few mornings a week.

When I tell other mothers this, they all give me this mischievous smile as if to say, “I know what you’ll be doing.” I want to ask them, “What? What should I do?”

Will the laundry get done? Will the house be cleaner? Will I exercise during this time? Perhaps a pedicure? Shower? Write? What? What is your secret? Why are you winking at me!?

Maybe all of those things will get accomplished. I am sure I will be a little more productive during this time, but what I think those Moms are really saying with their winky eyes is that: I will ecstatic to be by myself for once.

That’s where the mixed emotions come to play. You see, I actually enjoy being home with my kids. While I would say it is the most difficult job I’ve ever had, I am not so quick to kick them out at the end of every summer, and I am especially not so quick to get my youngest out the door to school. Especially not at a time in their lives when we all truly enjoy each other’s company so much (Two Words: Teen Years).

However, I am so proud of my kids’ independence, their love of school, and cannot wait to see all they accomplish this year. There is a kind of growing that happens through school that I love to see. The relationships they are forming with their teachers and friends makes me happy and proud. The sense of accomplishment they feel each day, or the discussions we have each night at dinner about all they are learning are all things I love about sending them out into the big wide world.

So, this is the time of year when I am having a complete internal struggle. I am completely re-organizing the house, buying school supplies, and taking on projects to get ready for the beginning of the school year, while still trying to soak up every last bit of summer by running through the sprinklers.

It is a very confusing time, but I look at it this way: You cannot get that awesome smiley tight hug from your kids coming off the bus at the end of the school day because they missed you so much, unless you send them off in the first place.

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