Finding My Stride: Establishing Routines

Today is the second week in the Mom of 6 Organize My Life Boot Camp. This week’s topic is establishing routines.

I am a creature of habit. I love routine. Repetition. Predictability. Don’t get me wrong, I love the spontaneous outing or change up to the every day norm, but I feel that change ups come much easier when there is some sort of normalcy.

You know I’m a dork already so I have no fear sharing this with you, but even when I was unemployed after college, I made up routines for myself to keep my sanity. Wake up, eat breakfast, go for a run, job search and set up interviews, eat lunch, more job searching, nap, even more job searching, dinner, IM friends, watch nightly sitcoms, Golden Girls reruns, read, bed. I felt that even in a time of no schedule and really nowhere to be, I had something to do.

Now that I am a Mom of three all born in a span of 33 months, I have figured out how to establish routine that works for our family. That my kids find helpful. That Brian helped to establish. That even allows me to still enjoy my sitcoms.

I just want everyone to know that in our house the schedule is loose. The time frame is not set in stone, however, the routine does not waiver. Schedules are good, they are helpful, but sometimes they are unrealistic and constrictive to follow. I feel that it is unrealistic for anyone to believe that they can get any kid to bed at 8:00 p.m. on the dot every single night. I think it is unrealistic to assume that you won’t get caught in a traffic jam, soccer practice will run late, or the check out at the supermarket will be packed. I mean, you might even burn dinner while on the phone, supervising kids and Play-Doh and folding laundry and might have to find a plan B for dinner before the husband gets home (true story). Time is sometimes unreliable. The routine, however, helps to give everyone some comfort.

For example, my kids don’t go to bed at the EXACT same time every night, but we do the same thing before bed every night, and end up in bed between 7:45 and 8:30 p.m. consistently.

All the routines in our house are this way. It started when they were babies. Nurse, play, change diaper, sleep. Nurse, play, change diaper, sleep. Then, as they would grow things would evolve. Naps got further apart. Play time got longer. Nursing turned into table food.

Right now, we have a few standard routines that keep us on task, and allow us to have flexibility when we need/want it.

So here is a little day in the life…

Morning
Alarm Goes off at 4:30, I hit snooze button and debate about working out and try to make a decision before next alarm goes off at 4:40. If I decide to work out, I hit the gym and shower and am back in time to take a power nap. Then 6:30 alarm goes off, and Brian gets up, showers, and starts getting ready for work. Kids hear Brian and proceed to wake me up. I get them something to drink, and flip on a show for them while I get breakfast ready. Kids and I eat, then head upstairs, get dressed, brush teeth, get shoes, glasses, socks, coats. Everyone heads out the door. Brian to work. Boys to school. Caroline and I to Mom and Me activities.

Afternoon
Coco and I pick up the boys, and since it is kind of a long commute, I try to pack a snack and something to drink for the way home. When we walk in the door, everyone removes shoes, empty and hang up back packs, and wash hands. I make lunch sometimes with a little help from the kids. We all eat together and talk about school. While they have a little down time, I go through school papers and mail and sort it out and look to see if there is homework that needs to be done after naps. Between 1:00 p.m. and 2:00 p.m. everyone (sometimes Mom too) takes a nap. My oldest really only needs a nap about 3 or 4 days a week, but he does have at least an hour of quiet time which includes looking at books while resting. This is my time that I do laundry, do some cleaning, catch up on a project, or blog. When everyone wakes up from naps between 3:00 and 4:00 p.m., I usually have a little snuggle time with everyone (while I still can) then, we grab a snack. Then it is homework time, (if there is any), play outside time, or park district activity time. Then dinner prep begins.

Evening
Kids will play independently, watch a show, or help me make dinner. Brian is usually walking in the door at this time, and changes clothes and will do a few things around the house like switch up laundry. Dinner is on the table between 5:30 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. Brian and I will sometimes clean up the kitchen together and do baths together or we will divide and conquer. Then it is finish up playing, pick up some toys, and pack backpacks. Next, we pick out clothes for the next day (sometimes this is when I pack my gym bag). Then, it is baths, jammies, brush teeth, find lovies, story time, prayers, kisses, and bed. Brian and I then collapse on the couch, do some work, blog, and watch sitcoms and try to be in bed no later than 11:00 p.m.

Then we start again.

Some notes:
– Times are not set in stone. These aren’t schedules, these are routines.
– My kids are amazing when we travel or do anything a little different, because they always have the comfort of the routine. No matter where we are we always have something to drink when we wake up. No matter where we are, we always wash hands before lunch. No matter where we are, we always have lovies and storytime before bed.
– Routines evolve as the kids grow.
– When someone is “not having” the routine, I let the kids make some decisions. Such as what kind of fruit we will have with breakfast. I will let someone pick what story we are reading at bedtime. Sometimes I will give special jobs like prayer leader, table clearer, or have them put toothpaste on everyones’ toothbrushes. Then, I give lots of praise. I have found my kids are much more cooperative when they feel they are part of the decision making and helping.
– Sometimes, we don’t follow everything perfect. We make mistakes. Sometimes, Brian and I leave the kitchen mess to play tag in the backyard instead. Sometimes, we skip baths to play Hi-Ho Cheerio. Sometimes, we put on Dolphin Tale and eat finger foods in front of the TV. Sometimes, everyone needs a break from the day to day, but I know that even though we have skipped a step or switched it up, the overall important parts of the routine have stayed the same.
– This is what works for US. I’m not saying that OUR routines will work for everyone, but I do advise having some sort of routine.